Dear fellow Babblers,
I’ve been having a pretty banal past few weeks. Just a usual cycle of comings and goings. I’m taking a month long break from traveling and am going through wanderlust withdrawl. It’s Monday but the day of the week doesn’t really mean much to me as I’ve fallen into my own sort of circadian rhthym that doesn’t seem to fall in with the rest of the world. I’m in between choosing from four different masters programs, am planning out my upcoming trips (a return to Morocco coming soon!), all the while making ends mean with my part time teaching job.
With all the changes happening in my life, this morning I got around to thinking about love. And why did this idea wake me up? Because although I’m often sad or desperately seeking solitude, there is so much in life, in my life that I can say that I love, and so I thought I would share my concept of love to give sleepy Monday some hope.
Love is something delicate and fragile. It can happen unexpectedly when that special someone walks into your favorite Starbucks. It can be destroyed unknowingly leaving your breathless and unwilling to trust again. Children, spouses, partners, single swingers all carry a spark inside of them where love grows and glimmers with time. That special someone or something that makes our life our treasure, a treasure that we share by being.
Faraway, unheard, different places, peoples and cultures. Discovering the world is by far one of my greatest joys. I became a serious traveler about six months ago. Moving to France from the United States, I was unaware that I would be testing my limits and boundaries, seeking adventures and taking risks. The thrill and sheer idea of movement from one place to another has brought me closer to myself in a way that follows me, giving me strength to see everyday as a potential happening. As a solo traveler I’m left with little choice than to make decisions for myself. At first this all seemed rather frightening given that if something went wrong there would be no one else to blame but myself. After a while; after several harmless as well as nerve-jerking mistakes here and there I’ve gotten stronger and have proven to myself that I too can survive in just about any circumstance. From working abroad in France, to traveling through the beginnings of the Sahara in Morocco to floating atop the Dead Sea each and every one of my travels so far have impacted my life, showing me the beauty of the world and promises for something even more beautiful tomorrow.
Whether coming from the inked pages of a book, from an audiobook in my parents’s car, or from the mouth of my next door neighbor I love stories. Ever since I was little I have always loved hearing how others’ live, the possibilities of other lives and worlds beyond my own. Stories, myths, legends – whatever one chooses to call them, hive me faith in the magic and miracles of the world. I love hearing the stories of people’s lives, their struggles, their defeats, the challenges they overcome. And I love sharing stories. For instance, when I travel, I often stay with locals by using the site Couchsurfing. This not gives me the chance to hear the stories of other people’s lives as well as share my own. I not only get closer to getting to know the country I am visiting but I also come closer to who I am a person and storyteller. It’s all rather wonderful.
That excruciatingly banal exercise that leaves you with aching muscles, sweaty tee shirts and monstrous calves. Yes, I love that, all of it. I began running when I was in middle school, encouraged by my family to lose weight. Over the years, running has become a part of my life and barely go a day without getting at least a quick jog in. When I run I like to pretend that I’m running away, to a secret place only I know of. It makes me feel free, strong and ready for anything that comes my way. Bumping along with some Eminem I usually run late at night when the rest of the world is getting ready for bed, when I feel that for the next hour the roads and hills are mine to explore, letting my legs carry me through, almost like a bird flying.
I dream. A lot. The thing about dreaming is that there is nothing to stop from dreaming. The possibility of rendering dreams true and the continuous possibilities that come out of them. Dreams of todays, tomorrows and yesterdays. The constant search of something more or just different. Imagining how the world could be and wondering what would happen if it was reminds me that no matter how many kicks, scolds or being pushed around that could happen dreams will save me. It’’s exciting, in a way to make up my life as a picture one day, as a nightmare the next, sometimes living my dreams, other times not. I’m not sure where I’m going in my life, but having dreams reminds me that no matter what I choose, I know it will be the right thing to do.
Delphine. Thats me folks. I think it’s important, more than anything, to love yourself. In order to have love for another person we must first feel love for who we are. And if we don’t, we need to figure out how to make that happen, whether it be through improving our body image, engaging in humanitarian work or having new hobbies.
I have high and low points with my relationship with myself that leads me to sometimes feel hopeless and other times hopeful. In the past few months, I’ve learned how to accept my flaws, embrace my differences and try new things that I hadn’t before expected could make me happy. And for the effort I put in life, I’m given enough reason to love myself.
At a young age I fought out of a seven year abusive relationship, managed to earn a degree from one of the greatest universities in the United States, have left everything behind and started over halfway across the world, traveled solo several times, and even recently earned a place in a masters program. I’ve ran several times in the wrong direction, but in the end, my heart has always lead me back to myself, reminding me that self-love is more important than any accomplishment. If any love will last forever, it’s self-love. Before all.
Do we share any loves ? What are some of the things you guys love ? What makes you love ? What is love to you ?