Dear fellow Babblers,
Happy Friday to you all. I started a new job this week and just got offered and internship position at an academic publisher. Everything is going swell and simply well on my side of the world. But this sort of happiness is rather superficial isn’t it. It’s all because of a job here, another sticker to add to my resume there. Those moments, those feelings that make life worth living is what I would give just about everything I have now for. That feeling of fulfillment and content for love, no matter what form it chooses to arrive in. However for the life I have lead up to this point love usually leaves, never stays. No matter how much I achieve and put my mind to there’s no denying that sometimes the world gets a little lonely without an “other” to share all of my happiness and a piece of my heart with.
How many of you have, after a successful day or upon receiving exciting news have picked up the phone or sent your significant other a text just because all of your happiness is bursting from your lungs and can no longer keep it it? And how about for those moments where nothing in particular is going on but you send that special person some love just because you feel like it ? I remember, just about a life time ago when these little fantasies I’m having now were actually happening. And now I stroll through life alone, hands a little shaking, gazing towards a place so close, yet too far beyond me as those around me stroll by, sometimes by me, sometimes in front of me, sometimes through me, almost like I’m not even there, a phantom of what once was.
With everything that is changing and going on in my life it would be nice, not necessarily vital, but nice, to have someone to share it with. I wouldn’t call it being lonely exactly but rather a longing for a soul to offer some of my own soul with. Yes, that’s it, an aching sort of longing for something, like a little bit of sugar to make my bliss a little bit sweeter.
For a week of longing, a playlist of romance is exactly what has been keeping my pep in my step. A little Nat King Cole here and some Yann Tiersen there. A melody of heartbreak on Monday, a passionate harmony on a Tuesday only to be repeated with more heartbreak on a quiet and still Thursday night… This playlist has, at least for this week, has at least temporarily filled some sort of void still throbbing deep inside me, somewhere in the cusp between my heart and my soul that I never knew was empty until now, when everything that should be making me happy, is not.
Here are some of the romantic lullabies and forget-me-nots that have carried me in a translucent sort of daze through a slow and lazily passing August week.